Hello again!

September 29, 2012

It’s been awhile! So long that I want to start a new blog and start over. A re-do of the last 12 months of my life. I’m currenlty 5’1 and 141 pounds and in the midst of a giant depression. Wow, lots of sharing in the web world.
I ready to crawl out of the hole and blogging will be one of the things that might help. Stay tuned!


I’m back :)

June 6, 2012

Hello web world!
I’m back and not giving up! Since I last wrote, I stopped by gym membership and got back to running lots which was great! Then, I finally got a dog! The lifestyle change has been quite different, but it will take time. Basically, I want/need to get back to running so am figuring out times to run when I’m not walking the dog. He’s not a runner…. that would be great to have a running buddy.

Food wise, in the last month it’s been a free for all so today I started back on plan! No gluten, no treats, running… I’m back!

Looking for the cause, not the symptoms

February 20, 2012

After last week’s post, I’ve been reflecting on what’s going on with me and what could happen if this type of behavior continues. After some tough introspection, I’ve figured out what the “cause” has been over the last 1.5 years and binging, dieting, etc. is just a symptom of the cause. Not that I want to share the cause on this blog, but I do know I need to refocus my energy on dealing with the cause.

I still need to keep my calories at a certain level and need to up my exercise back to 5 times a week, but the majority of the work will be behaviour/cognitive changes.

I’ll check in next week and let you know how it goes….

Time to Rename the Blog?

February 13, 2012

Starting this blog was a way for me to share my relationship with food with others and initially, I was hopeful it would document my healing of the bad relationship I’ve had with food and emotional eating.

I’m not sure I’ve made any progress over the last few months, actually it’s half a year. Ups and downs, starts and re-starts and all resulting in the highest weight ever. Truthfully, it’s been the last 1.5 years. 2011 was stressful but eating wasn’t my planned way of dealing with it. 2012 is good so far, so I don’t know why I’m doing this. Maybe it’s time to seek professional help, but who’s the right person for eating issues when I don’t fit the ‘traditional’ patient, I’m not anorexic or bulimic. Someone at work said to me on Friday that I’ve sure been up and down weight wise and what was going on? Ahhh, love head-snapper questions.

I’m toping my highest weight ever and that was 12 years ago. It’s weird, almost like I want to see how big I can get? Or total sabotage? I’ve been binging the last 3 days (up to one hour ago) and I’m feeling hopeless. Where was the motivation and will power I’ve always been so proud of? Maybe I should re-name my blog ‘Watch me gain weight over two years’.

My first gut instinct is to ‘do the detox’ thing again and eat very strictly for 3 weeks. It always works just because I can’t deal with variety and choices with food so I need the strict plan. It’s certainly not sustainable and I always gain a bit more than the last time I did it… but I just need to get a plan going or something.

It helps to read about others struggles with this. Here’s a couple of good posts:



Is knowing half the battle?

February 5, 2012

This month is my two year anniversary of starting this blog! I like reading old posts, helps me stay positive when I see that I can achieve my goals!

Last week was ok, I’m happy with the amount I exercised, I was able to only have half of some “danger” items so that’s progress. But overall, my calorie count per day was way too high. What pushed it from the goal number of 1600 per day was either chocolate at work, or some other unnecessary, spontaneous, high sugar and high fat item. For example, today I was doing great then while shopping for one item at the store, tried some cheese and crackers and ended up buying them. Then eating all of them at home, even though I wasn’t hungry and had a nice dinner planned.

So basically, if I went a week without those, I’d lose weight! It sucks being 5’1 because 200 extra calories a day makes a HUGE difference It’s not fair but that’s life. Also, half my calories are consumed after dinner.

Well, that’s the pattern so I need to kick into problem-solving mode and come up with some strategies to change this. If knowing is half the battle, I guess the other half is dealing with the problem!

Weekly calorie count

January 25, 2012

Good news, last week’s overall count was lower then the week before! However, today and yesterday I had baked goodies in the form of cookies and muffins. That’s ok, the week is still young.

There’s a couple of new websites I’m following that are about people losing weight right now. I enjoy blogs of people who have lost the weight, but right now I want to read more about people who are in the same challenge as me. I hope you enjoy their sites as well!

http://wearelosingitblog.blogspot.com/ and http://bethsjourney.com/

Keeping motivated

January 17, 2012

It’s been almost 2 weeks since my last post, and blogging is one of the ways of keeping myself motivated. Arghhhhhh when I don’t feel motivated!

Last week wasn’t good: every day I had a food plan and food prepared and ready, but had major extras every day that weren’t planned. Here was my thought process, or rather, lack of thought process: Oh look, free chocolates! Oh look, cookies from the staff room! Oh look, chips on sale! Every day the plan was 1600 calories and running 5 times a week, but it was more like 2100-5000 calories a day and I only ran twice last week.

Why do I sabotage myself like this? Was it the lack of running which lead to feeling bad, leading to eating? Or sheer laziness or not wanting to deny myself anything last week? Was I happy? Was I sad last week? What was going on?

And why am I doing the same thing today? I’ve already binged on a box of cookies after work today because of feeling angry (and justifiable anger given the situation). Do I eat when I feel strong emotions?

What’s my prognosis for this week if today is already completely off track???

Happy New Year!

January 2, 2012

All the best to everyone in 2012! New years is an exciting time with high hopes and big promises for many people, and there’s also a lot of people who don’t follow through with the resolutions! But, there are success stories and January resolutions can be achieved!

I was a new years resolution person 11 years ago today. I was at an all time high for my weight, was inactive and not dealing with a lot of stress. I started at the local gym without a lot of knowledge on what to do, so I started with any cardio activity that made me drip sweat and then would move it up in 10 minutes increments once a week.

A few months later, I started lifting weights when a friend showed me how to do the basics, then I researched online more about fitness, calories and working out. I was suprised at how little knowledge I had about calories and how to lose weight! I thought fat content was all the mattered!

Within one year, I went from inactive to running my first 10 km, then a 10 mile, then a half marathon! Since then, I’ve had a gym membership for 10/11 years and run about 3-4 times a week and weights about 1-2 times a week.

January resolutions do work if you have a clear plan, reasonable goals (ie- run just an extra 10 minutes each week), and are ready to change your lifestyle.

Stick to your goals and remember, time is going to pass either way, so you might as well work on your goals!

Checking in

November 20, 2011

Hi all,
Well it’s been awhile I know! Nothing new to report with me, I’m still chugging along. I’ve been eating out a lot of meals and not holding back on any whims or cravings so I think you can guess the outcomes.

This week my goals are small: try a pre-work gym session twice this week and say no to all sugar!

I found another new blog that’s really helpful so I’ll share that with you. http://honeyishrunkthegretchen.com/

I like reading blogs where the person is losing the weight, and then blogs where they’ve maintained it.

I’ll check in next week.

Detox Results

October 23, 2011

I finished the 21 one day detox and it went well. Once I get over the first week, I stop craving sweets and sugar, it’s true that the more I eat of them, the more I want them! Cutting back to 2 coffees a day really helped with energy levels and I don’t think I was hungry as much.

Overall, I felt even-keeled, in the sense that I wasn’t having up and down cravings. Also helped with the emotional eating!

I’m going for a modified version of the detox for another 21 days: 2 coffees a day, no gluten and nothing processed (Oct.23-Nov. 12).

I have a new goal – my birthday is the end of December and I’d like to be back in the same sizes I was last year! So about 10 pounds which is possible.